This past week my interview on the Ryan Answers podcast went live. Ryan Jakovljevic is a relationship counseller and coach, a dating coach, and also does personal coaching and counselling as well. Ryan helps individuals and couples solve their relationship problems worldwide via Skype and over the phone, and also sees clients in person where he lives in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. If you're interested in working with him you can learn more here.
As I've stated before a large part of our energy goes into seeking pleasure and avoiding pain (click here). There is a certain utility in this, but the problem that arises from this is that we can start to invest so much in avoiding painful experiences that we close ourselves off to an important motivator to make the changes we need to make in our lives. I'm going to propose a new perspective of break ups and point out two distinct benefits of what we otherwise tend to see as a solely negative experience.
At the beginning of this months blog theme on on rejection I stated that rejection is something that never stops, even in long term relationships and marriage. It's vital for men to understand the importance of this both in finding and keeping a great relationship. Rejection in a relationship can be a good thing. I will explain this idea below.
The most common reason for anxiety that I encounter from men is around rejection.
It has been awhile since I posted anything in the Inspiring Examples of Resistance series I started last year. This has not been because of any lack of inspiring stories out there, because there are many. I had my focus on other areas.
Men's rational minds seem to stop working when they become physically attracted. I don't mean to judge, because I've been there myself. All men have been there. It is responsible for men diving headlong into unhealthy relationships, why men can't get over a break up (especially when it is the right thing for them), or even get caught up in becoming obsessed with one woman, otherwise known as one-itis. There can definitely be other extenuating emotional factors involved, but for the purpose of simplicity I will focus on this one factor that is more common in men than women, leading me to scream out to all men captivated solely by physical attraction - "It's a trap!" (to join in the recent flurry of Admiral Ackbar references going around lately)