Earlier this week I put out an idea on Facebook and Twitter that created some buzz. I wrote "Happiness is self-contained." Not only is this idea the cornerstone of work I do with my clients around self-development, it is deeply ingrained into my concept of life.

They say that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. But sometimes it’s hard to move… especially when you're bogged down with negative thoughts and feelings. In a previous blog I recommended everyone "maintain an attitude of gratitude in the face life events that make it next to impossible for most people to still feel grateful and optimistic about their life." This is easier said than done, and during those times it is important that you cover yourself with kindness, meditate on your hopes and desires, and go easy on yourself – at least until you see the first glimmer of strength return.

Some guys resent others to whom life comes easy. If you think about it, do you really want to be one of those guys? The moment they hit a challenge in their life they get completely thrown off, become frustrated, and give up. When push comes to shove, and success requires real effort and character, these people are the first to fail. They don’t have the strength, character, and integrity to cope with growing pains, because they have never had to grow, and maybe never will. Ultimately, if you have not tasted these growing pains you will not really appreciate the taste of success when it does come; such men will take it for granted and life will be dull for them.

An all too common complaint I hear from men when it comes to dating is "It's so much easier for women." I might have used to sympathize, but my experience and maturity has led me to believe that this statement is bulls--t. More than anything this is used as an excuse to avoid the anxiety that comes with learning and personal growth. Yes, it is easier for a woman to get laid. But, how do you think a woman feels when constantly having to determine whether this man who is showing her so much attention, saying all of these exorbitantly flattering things to her, is being truthful or just trying to get into her pants?

As we continue to discuss negativity, it is important to keep in mind that if you decide to make changes in your life, that change is not an easy process. In fact your brain resists changing... Multiple different theories in psychology and neuroscience have identified the brain as seeking the familiar, the status quo, the path of least resistance; essentially the human tendency is to gravitate toward whatever baseline you have established in your life. This is a tendency that you have to be motivated to, and be ready to exert willpower to overcome.

The moment I saw this video it immediately shattered the threshold I use when I try to decide whether a feat is inspiring enough for this series. Here was a man, disabled through his service to his country, who gained a lot of weight which compounded his disability, to the point he needed heavy bracing and crutches just to move around. Everyone had given up on this man. He seems to have nearly given up on himself. But, something inside him had not fully given up… I will not go into the story, since it is pretty clearly spelled out in the video.

As of late I have been focused on pointing out the pitfalls of negative thinking, particularly how it holds you back from reaching your true potential. In conversation I've noticed this message has been misinterpreted as waging a full scale attack on negativity. When I speak about being positive, it is not to say that one should not be experiencing negative feelings, or eradicating negative thoughts. Negative feelings are a healthy, natural part of life. To feel angry, annoyed, frustrated, etc. are all ways in which our emotions signal us to pay attention to problems we need to address in our lives. Problems arise when this negative vibration becomes ingrained in habit and persists as a low grade humming in your daily life below your radar.

First it is important to identify non-constructive forms of negativity as they apply to men (some of these can be applied more generally):